Notes from the debate
- - When Jack Layton speaks directly to the camera, I keep expecting him to wink at the camera.
- Stephen Harper is tying to burn a hole through Stephane Dion’s head.
- Stephen Harper’s teeth are frightening to look at.
- How is it that the dude running only in Quebec speaks better English than Stephane Dion?
- Stephen Harper has beady little eyes.
- Everyone is attacking Stephen Harper, but he’s keeping his cool.
- Jack Layton’s mustache could become PM if it ran on a pro-mustache platform
- I wonder what Stephen Harper is thinking… “I could kill you with my bare hands”
- Jack Layton – Sweater Burn #1
- Gilles Duceppe sounds like a French Elmer Fudd.
- Jack Layton is kicking ass on the economy.
- Wink.
- Stephen Harper can lie about the Liberal’s plan because Dion can’t say that he’s lying without sounding like a whiner
- Jack Layton has played the Tommy Douglas card twice.
- Steve Paikin just mentioned the Palin/Biden debate – THEY’RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL
- What are they drawing on those pads of paper? I think that Stephane Dion is making one of those flipbooks of him winning the election.
- Wink.
- Charles W. Bush? That’s what Dion just said.
- Sweater Burn #2 for Jack Layton (and that’s what really matters)
-thefais
Wink.
A few things
Yeah, I haven’t written anything in a while. Thing is, I haven’t been able to properly congeal my thoughts into a palatable mush for consumption. In the interest of brevity, I’ll just mention a bunch of topics and what I think about them.
Site redesign: Do you like it? I like it. I don’t yet have the internet superpowers to make it how I’d ideally like, but this is a start. Black is the new blue, apparently.
The Emmys: My emmy prediction entry was basically spot-on, with the exception of Zeljko Ivanek winning best supporting actor. The show itself was awful, but the winners were deserving, even though Jeremy Piven won the Annual Jeremy Piven is exactly like this asshole agent I totally know, man is that spot on Award. Anyways, the point: I am very smart at predicting the winners of the emmys.
Canadian Election: That shit is boring. I’m actually making a documentary about how boring this shit actually is.
American Election: Despite the collapse of their entire financial system and involvement in a very unpopular war, one side is somehow able to completely avoid talking about policy. You can’t make this shit up. It is ridiculous.
Heroes: I would be willing to overlook some of the more pressing issues with the show if they’d just have the balls to kill off a character or two. If nobody dies, then there’s no risk to saving the world. Every character will survive, and global catastrophe will be avoided (again). Going into the future and seeing other people die is not the same. Plus, with the ever-increasing cast of characters (something like two dozen), the storylines are just too numerous. There were nine different storylines in the second half of the premiere alone. Too many.
I think I may be using this format in the future - it is fun.
-thefais
The Odd Couple
Before tonight, I had not seen The Odd Couple. I can now see that was a mistake. It is a classic: The origin of a comic archetype that remains to this day. Now, it’s a bit of a cliché. Neat freak moves in with a slob, Hilarity Ensues. But this is the movie that shows you why it’s a cliché: It’s a situation rife with conflict and the possibility for hilarious confrontation.
The basic premise: Felix (played brilliantly by Jack Lemmon), a fastidious control freak, has just gotten divorced from his wife and spirals into depression. Oscar (Walter Matthau), a complete slob, lets Felix stay with him because neither wants to live alone. Yes, hilarity does ensue.
The movie seems very familiar, and for good reason: this scenario has been redone out countless times since. Friendship as metaphor for marriage. The main character comes home late, and the best friend plays the nagging wife being upset that dinner was missed. While it’s usually still funny other places, it’s always done with a sly, knowing wink. In The Odd Couple, it’s played completely straight. There’s no knowing wink, because there’s nothing to wink to - this is the original. And because it’s original and played straight, it ironically feels much fresher than the countless imitators that have come after it.
There are only three reasons that this movie is better than it’s imitators: Jack Lemmon. Lemmon plays Felix as a true tragicomic character. He’s barely holding it together, having failed to kill himself twice in the first five minutes of the movie, but he does these hilarious things. Jack Lemmon pulls everything off with impeccable timing never skirting too far into goofing off, never losing sight of the comedy in the situation. Walter Matthau is excellent, and their dynamic is great, but Jack Lemmon makes this movie.
So: See it already.
-thefais
Fall TV: What I’ll be watching
New days for updating, due to an erratic school schedule. More importantly, a new television season. After last year’s half-season, I’ve been hurting for new episodes and new series. Here’s a list of the returning and new shows I’ll be watching this fall.
- Chuck: Mondays at 8:00 on NBC
- Heroes: Mondays at 9:00 on NBC
- How I Met Your Mother: Mondays at 8:30 on CBS
- House: Tuesdays at 8:00 on FOX
- Pushing Daisies: Wednesdays at 8:00 on ABC
- The Office: Thursdays at 9:00 on NBC
- 30 Rock: Thursdays at 9:30 on NBC
- Dexter: At some time on Showtime - I just end up watching it on the web anyways.
New shows:
Fringe: A new sci-fi show from J.J. Abrams (Lost & Alias) in the vein of the X-Files or The Twilight Zone. On FOX 8:00 on Tuesdays. The two-hour pilot on tonight was promising, but any procedural focusing on the supernatural is only as good as the individual stories, the ‘monsters of the week’. Definitely worth keeping an eye on.
Sons of Anarchy: A crime drama in the style of the Sopranos, except with Bikers instead of Italian mobsters. It’s on FX, which continues to put out solid dramas (see also: Damages). The story is loosely based on Hamlet: The main character’s father is dead (probably MURDERED), and his mother married his best friend and advisor. The always-awesome Ron Perlman is in the role of the leader of the biker gang, and Katey Segal (Futurama, 8 Simple Rules) plays the ruthless bitch of a mother. The pilot has loads of potential, and I will keep watching this.
That’s what I’m going to be watching this fall, and probably updating briefly on.
-thefais
School and Sarah Palin
School is up in full swing. I may switch around the days I update as Thursday is an already busy day. Maybe tuesdays and fridays instead. As my program is journalism, we talk about what’s in the news.
Namely: Sarah Palin, who pulled off a pretty swell speech yesterday. It didn’t appeal to me because I’m not batshit crazy, but if you happen to be that oh-so-special kind of crazy, you just might have friggin’ loved it.
Turns out Sarah Palin actually is a politician, rather than a walking media circus. And this is surprising people. Listen: You don’t go from mayor of Assfuck, Alaska to being the governor without some actual ability. Quick note: Hockey mom jokes aren’t funny.
But seriously, all you conservative media pundits that read this blog (there are hundreds of you, I’m sure of it) stop pretending that all the negative press is because she’s a woman. It’s not. It’s because she’s running for the second-highest office in your country. Barack Obama has gotten the same, with Rev. Wright and him calling people ‘bitter’. That’s politics. Plus her daughter, the poorly-named “Bristol”, being pregnant is all the more important because she’s one of those crazy ‘abstinence-only’ people.
There are also rumours floating around that her youngest child, the unfortunately-named ‘Trig’ (presumably short for Trigory, Trigolas, or Trigger), might actually be her oldest kid’s baby, and not hers. SCANDAL! There is only one problem with this: If you’re hiding a pregnancy due to potential scandal, another pregnancy is NOT A GOOD COVER-UP.
-thefais
Politics are strange
Specifically, American Politics. As a Canadian, it’s pretty difficult to not know what’s going on in American politics. Canadian politics are American politics’ mild mannered alter-ego, specifically American Politics’ Bruce Banner. Our leaders are stupendously dull: Stephen Harper constantly looks like he became Prime Minister on a dare (and is now regretting it), and Stephane Dion makes him seem enthusiastic by comparison. Snore. American politics are just more interesting.
This November, it’s the grizzled veteran versus the young upstart. Obama seems to have the advantage, with a strong message of change and essentially undoing the damage Bush has done. John McCain is fighting back by, well, attacking his opponent and citing his stint as a prisoner of war endlessly. Obama is a powerful speaker, and McCain is a ‘maverick’, which essentially means that he’s a hotheaded asshole. He also lost 6 years of his life in a Hanoi prison as a POW.
Their selections of running mates are basically there to be the opposite of the candidate, for variety. Obama chose an old, experienced white guy in Joe Biden - a strong choice to temper his relative inexperience and non-whiteness. McCain (who was a prisoner of war) chose Sarah Palin, a young, inexperienced, fundamentalist woman (because the republican party is fresh out of black people). This balances out his age, experience, non-fundamentalism, and his penis.
Plus, it has the happy side-effect of being able to woo Clinton supporters: “You wanted a woman in power, right? Well, look what we’ve got!”. Of course, Palin’s policies are miles apart from Hilary’s. Palin’s pro-life, endorses teaching creationism, is vehemently anti-gay, and is currently under investigation for some shady dealings. I guess McCain is hoping that some of Hilary’s craziest supporters won’t care?
(Edit: I guess it won’t work after all. You lose, McCain!)
I hope Obama wins, for what I should think are obvious reasons. But as I learned the last two times, there’s really no point in getting too invested in it.
-thefais
Vigilantes!
Everyone loves a good vigilante. Vigilantes rarely exist in our own experience, yet popular culture is chock full of them. Vigilantes essentially ignore due process of the law in order to execute their own brand of justice, usually because they see the established justice system as bureaucratic, slow, and unfair: One of the hallmarks of (non-police) crime shows and movies. Characters in law enforcement, the legal system and politics are corrupt, ineffectual or by-the-books to a fault. Then someone swoops in to right the wrongs of the system and punish the bad guys: we love that part.
Vigilantes come in many colours. There’s the public defender of justice - usually the realm of comic book superheroes like Batman, Spider-man, and even Superman. They’re a public figure, a symbol. Sometimes they fight supervillains, but in nearly every of their movies there’s a “cleanin’ up the streets” montage. They’ll turn the small-time crooks over to the cops to serve as an example.
Then there’s the private eye, someone whose services are generally for hire. They don’t always fall within the realm of vigilantism, but they’ll circumvent laws whenever convenient - but always for the forces of good. Television detectives usually make up this category: The A-Team, Veronica Mars and any other protagonist with a healthy contempt for the authorities and thirst for justice.
There’s the cop on the edge, someone with the backing of a law enforcement agency, but contempt for the higher ups. They’ll do whatever it takes to get the job done, no matter what the cost. Lots of cop shows have one of these, but these dudes take it to the extreme. Jack Bauer is the arcetypal example, with Vic Mackey from The Shield another example.
Another class is the avenger. These characters have a score to settle, and won’t stop until they do. These characters are usually found in movies, since their vigilantism has an end: getting revenge. The Bride from Kill Bill, The Punisher, and V from V for Vendetta are all examples of this type.
Finally, there’s the unseen vigilante. Unlike the first category, these characters keep their vigilantism quiet, taking out bad guys without the public’s knowledge. They don’t set out for revenge, only justice where the system fails. Dexter Morgan from Dexter and the brothers from The Boondock Saints are both solid examples. In both these examples, when their vigilantism becomes public, the general public (a proxy for the audience) offers support for their cause - they’re fighting for good, after all.
That’s what vigilantism is all about, though. It’s a representation of ‘true’ justice - bad guys punished for their crimes. It’s easy for the audience to connect to that - bad guys deserve bad things to happen to them. Simple as that. In fiction, anyways. Real life always seems to cloud the issue somehow.
-thefais
Mini-reviews #1: Some Like It Hot, The Great Race & Tropic Thunder
This weekend I caught a few different movies, but I couldn’t decide which to actually write a full review. Instead, mini-reviews for all!
Some Like It Hot (1959) - As of last week, this movie was #3 on my top ten list. It’ll stay there. It may not be the first “dudes in drag” movie, but it’s definitely the most memorable, with the exception of maybe Tootsie. Jack Lemmon is one of the best comedic actors of all-time, and this is him in his prime. His timing and delivery are, as always, dead-on. Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe’s romance plot is pretty by-the-books, but it’s an old movie, so you have to judge it by execution, not degree of difficulty and there are still plenty of funny bits to keep you going. A+
The Great Race (1965) - This was a ton of fun to watch. As an actual film with an actual story, it sort of falls flat. It’s a two-and-a-half hour comedy, after all. It’s basically three almost unrelated 45 minute movies. The plot jumps around haphazardly, with no real purpose or destination (strange for being about a race around the world). Despite all of this, it’s a real blast. It’s a throwback to the silent movies - larger than life, mustachio-twirling, scenery-chewing villain (Jack Lemmon); larger than life, shining-smile-having hero (Tony Curtis), and the ridiculous premise: a race around the world. The whole movie felt wonderfully like an old movie you would watch as a kid; lots of different (usually unrelated) parts, quotable dialogue, and larger-than-life characters. B
Tropic Thunder (2008) - Ben Stiller’s latest offering is absolutely hilarious. It’s a solid satire on hollywood, with the few weak performances being outshined by the metric fucktonne of terrific ones. Robert Downey Jr.’s Australian method actor (in blackface) provides the films best (and funniest) scenes. After seeing him in this, he pretty much vaults to the top of my favourite working actors list. On the other hand, Ben Stiller still looks wild-eyed and surprised in nearly every shot, but I think that’s just how Ben Stiller rolls. Bonus: those promos before the movie? Fantastic! I would definitely watch Scorcer VI: Global Meltdown. A-
All in all, a pretty good weekend, movie-wise.
-thefais
The Olympics & The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
So I was right! After a week of alarmist panicking about our lack of Olympic wins, Canada now has a healthy fifteen medals and everyone has completely forgot what all the fuss was about. Instead of acting like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off, the Canadian media is now acting like a bunch of patriotic chickens with their heads cut off, running the story of Canada’s medal resurgence with the headline “Oh Canada!”. We’re exactly where we should be, folks. In the mid-teens.
According to the IOC’s standings (which rank by number of Gold Medals won rather than total medals won) we would still be behind Michael Phelps, were he a country unto himself. Michael Phelpsylvania, were it a real place, would be 9th in the total standings. Canada is 16th. Even if you split his medals evenly between his right arm and his left arm, both would still be beating us.
I am re-reading Douglas Adams’s masterful The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and it is as every bit as good as the first four times I’ve read it. Adams had a judo grip on the English language, and is able to massage it for maximum effect. It’s recklessly inventive, completely implausible, and absolutely hilarious. Read it. Read it now.
This weekend will be marathoning three separate Jack Lemmon movies with the help of my friend (and yours) Jessica. On tap are Some Like It Hot, The Great Race, and The Apartment. I am excited.
-thefais
Other contenders for “What would Michael Phelps be called if he was a country unto himself” include Michael Phelpsistan, Michael Phelpsia, Michael Phelpsico, The Michael Phelpsipines and The Democratic Republic of Michael Phelps’s Right Arm.
Top ten list!
This monday I will be out of town camping, so in the interest of keeping to my update schedule, I have decided to write out my list of top ten movies of all time. Feel free to post yours in the comments! I may eventually write re-reviews of all of these, and use this as a sort of master page.
1. Memento (2000) - Read my re-review here.
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
4. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
6. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
10. The Dark Knight (2008) - A little too soon, maybe. I can see it sticking around, though. - Read my ‘review’ here.
Fun fact: no movies from the ’90s.
-thefais